My friend John died on Sunday.
Today is Wednesday.
As I allow my mind to travel over the many years of our
friendship, I remember vividly the first moment I saw John:
at his mother's funeral. My parents, who have since passed,
were close to John's parents, who have also passed.
I remember my mother whispering in my ear, There is John,
Alberta's son.
His daughter and wife Elizabeth were standing closely by.
We were all Unitarian Universalist and we attended the
funeral in the church I was raised in.
Sun light streamed through the beautiful stain glass
depicting the holy saints of every religion known to human
kind. A prism-like effect seemed to cast a purple aura on
the family, as they stood forlornly in their shared grief.
The last supper was open in the back of the church for the
occasion.
John was also raised Unitarian.
I remember all the conversations we had about what it was
like to be a Unitarian from birth to that present moment.
Do we think differently, do we believe in God, are we more
open minded about every world religion?
I remember the church undergoing turmoil when a beloved
minister was ousted by the board. John investigated the
inequities of the situation and as the drama unfolded,
reliably kept us informed and supported the man faithfully.
Yet there was nothing we could do to keep the minister.
This caused sadness that John would often discuss over the
years, causing him to leave the Unitarian Church.
John and Elizabeth are renown musicians. They performed
their beautiful music locally, nationally and
internationally, John with his Cello, Elizabeth her Piano.
They were both child prodigys. They played music together
with soul and passion: classical, sometimes jazz and modern.
The first time John and Elizabeth divorced, they remarried
under our Willow Tree which also happened to be the
anniversary of my marriage to Tom.
It was a cloudless August day with great hope and promise
of new lives, new potential for us all.
Tom and I, Elizabeth's daughter Bonnie, my dad, who was
still strong and fully functioning, David Gramp, the
minister, and Ipswitch, our tiny calico cat who paraded
back and forth, displaying her approval and need to be
included in an event that was lovely and harmonious--were
all in attendance.
Hansel the Ram and Nettle his faithful companion, kept a
safe distance.
The ceremony was performed by the mighty Conestoga River
that runs courageously by the old Willow Tree that stands
there still.
Within the past year, Elizabeth and John divorced again,
this time with no reconciliation.
John died of a broken heart while Elizabeth went on to
fully embrace her friends, her daughter and her grandson.
She was at peace.
She loved John but could not live with him.
But when the month of March revealed that John was
deteriorating rapidly and died minutes after Elizabeth told
him she loved and forgave him, the grief and gifts of the
situation struck all of us who knew them both, in the light
of the returning sun.
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Kate Loving Shenk is a writer, healer, musician and the
creator of the e-book called "Transform Your Nursing Career
and Discover Your Calling and Destiny." Click here to find
out how to order the e-book:
http://www.nursingcareertransformation.com Check Out Kate's
Blog: http://www.nursehealers.typepad.com
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